I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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