so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
