Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
