and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
