I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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