i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
