sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Randomize
