if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Hippo gnu deer
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
