is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
