No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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