I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
soo... how was my night?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
