She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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