Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
