I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
