took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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