Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
