God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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