Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
