Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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