Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
