She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
