We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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