I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
