I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
