yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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