he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
