Sry I called you an 8
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
