i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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