I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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