No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
