it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
