so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
