I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
