If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Operation Purity has been aborted
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
