pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
