There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
