GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
