Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize