how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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