i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
