yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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