i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
