Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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