I just made out with a guy for $7.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Houston, we have a squirter
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
