Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Two words: nipple clamps
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