I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
