dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
