I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Randomize
