he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
