I'm gonna have a badass scar
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
