WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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