Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
